A Cover Girl's Christmas
by Lizzie D
Summary: Hey! This is the story of Rhonda told by Rhonda, herself to you guys. It's past tense and she retrospects about her 'perfect' life. But- Was she really happy?


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A Cover Girl's Christmas

by Lizzie D

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I looked down at my watch as I waited for the guests to arrive. That night was to be a special evening. Picked out the perfect gown for the impending fête. Everything in place. This was going to be perfect, or so that's what I'd expected.

I'd never really expected anything less than 'perfect'. Now, at the time, I was a very successful supermodel. I just hadn't never anticipated my career to skyrocket like it did. Maybe it was because of my utter beauty--- but that's another story. I was so different back then. 

All the designer clothes. A ridiculously filled bank account. My own American Express card. Married, no children, a mansion, and a four-car garage. I was a Cover Girl. You could have found me in every women's magazine from "Better Homes and Gardening" to the teen-sensational "YM" publications.

Then I hadn't changed so much. In high school, I was the same exact way. The rich and beautiful, dark-haired Valley Girl. Everyone wanted to be me, and hey- who could have blamed them? I would have been jealous of me too. 

Choosing a guy and I could have hooked any boy I wanted. Instead... I got married right out of school. Who would have known that getting married so early would have been the biggest mistake of my life?

The tables were set with the finest cutlery imaginable. Sterling silver dining. The environment was breathtaking. Even if Martha Stewart didn't agree, I didn't care then and I don't care now. I always wanted nothing but the best- nothing but it for the people I truly loved and still do. 

With seven o'clock just around the corner, I started to get a bit edgy. Harold _still_ wasn't home. This was ridiculous. The party would be in ten minutes and the host wasn't even home with me. I was quite worried as many concerned notions paced through my mind. I hushed them away when I was aware of the car coming up the driveway.

BMW... Silver... I knew that it certainly wasn't Harold coming up the driveway. My clue was when I saw a football-headed man with a strikingly exquisite woman following him. At that moment, I knew it was Arnold and my instincts told me that the woman was Helga. It seemed hard for me to come to terms with the fact that Arnold and Helga could ever fall in love. Apparently my origami marriage predictor was correct. 

I answered the door; excited and embarrassed at the same time. A beautiful couple was extraordinarily happy to see me. I hadn't seen them in six years, it was astounding to see such extremes act so inseparable. They quickly embraced me with open and loving arms. People certainly changed... and I still hadn't. I guess I was a little shocked by their arrival and the numerous unfamiliar cars in the driveway didn't ease the pressure.

Helga was so happy. Radiant with bliss. I was alone. Harold told me he would have been home by six and now he was already an hour late. Guests were arriving and I was the hostess without my host. He was usually so good with things like this. 

I decided to take action as I directed my fellow classmates towards the buffet. Pulling out my cellular phone, I promptly dialed Harold's number.

"Hello?" a slurred voice picked up the receiver.

"Harold?! Where are you? The festivity has already begun! You said you'd be here an hour ago!" I panicked, I mean, wouldn't you? I imagined this would be a perfect night.

"Rhonda, Rhonda, baby... chill out, okay? Everything is cool here!" Harold attempted to reassure me as he was acting like a complete moron.

"I don't care, Harold. I want you home. You know how important this reunion is to me! I really would appreciate you here. You _are_ the host, Harold," I pleaded with him.

"Did you forget I was Jewish, Rhonda?" He tried to pick a fight with me. I wouldn't have it!

"What are you talking about!?! Eugene had no problem coming and _he's_ Jewish!" I argued.

"Listen Rhonda, I'm at the ... uh... umm... the office party right now. I'll show up at your little Christmas part soon enough..." he retorted rudely to me. Harold sounded sloshed so I began to be a bit concerned. Even if I didn't show it so much, I still cared.

"_HOLIDAY_! _HOLIDAY_! This isn't a 'Christmas party'! It is a 'Holiday Celebration'! We are celebrating _everything _tonight! Hanukah, Christmas _and_ Kwanzaa!!" I yelled back trying not to cause a scene in the middle of the festivities.

"So that's the treatment I get? After all I've done for you, Rhonda. I buy you everything, you have one of every major credit card-- including American Express. You're a goddamn Cover Girl with the trendiest clothes! I don't know why you're so damn unthankful! I mean, really Rhonda; didn't we just celebrate Thanksgiving!?" Harold burned me with those harsh words icy-coated with his ignorant sarcasm.

Maybe I _hadn't_ been that grateful, but this meant a lot to me. He wasn't just any guy. He was my husband; the man I met at the end of the aisle. I guess I just wasn't in the mood for his Jewish liberation crap. We had a menorah in every living room, okay?! _One_ Christmas tree. Just _one_ Christmas tree. Not that I would want more than one tree, but I was being more than fair with just one tree. I don't want to sound prejudice but I proudly honor Catholicism and to keep him comfortable- I also honor the Jewish faith. I don't see anything prejudice here, but I want to be clear.

After that, I had just hung up. Completely destroyed by the phone call, I didn't await Harold's arrival that night. It was almost as if I was seeing him with another woman, I was heartbroken by his spite. We had fights in the past but nothing was as unpleasant to me as that one. I crossed my arms to keep myself from fidgeting in front of my friends. They'd know something was wrong. Nadine seemed to note my discomfort as she hurried over to me without causing a stir. 

"Rhonda, are you alright? I mean, I don't want to sound too forward, but where's Harold?" She tried to calm me down. I thought I saw headlights flash in the driveway. I even thought I saw Harold's car but I dismissed the thoughts as just mirages. I wanted Harold home with me and he wasn't there. Maybe he wasn't my true love! Eventually, the hyperventilation subsided and I relaxed as I told her the anecdote.

"At the 'office party'... I don't think he's coming tonight," I promised myself that I wouldn't cry.

"He isn't?" Nadine inquired and then saw my cell phone, "Oh Rhonda. You guys had a fight?"

"Uh huh..." I answered effortlessly. This was like one of those times where you just need to vent to your best friend. We went to grab some vodka as we observed the guests all having a good time. At least _they_ were having fun. We sat as I informed her of the entire fight; word by word. She seemed sympathetic and assured me that I'd still have fun. It was hard for me to believe. Harold wasn't there, and he was like my other half. We used to really love each other with so much passion- but around _that _moment in time, things between us had just gone south. 

Eventually and as the soirée progressed, I came to the conclusion that it might be fun. Everyone was gossiping and Nadine and I were chatting about how Phoebe's dress didn't exactly harmonize with her heels. The good times again, the good times I had thought would never re-emerge. It was now eight o'clock and all was going remarkably well when I heard a pounding at the door. 

The company quieted down and were anxiously awaiting whomever was at the door an hour late. I kept pleading to God that Harold hadn't come home. That'd just make things worse. I closed my eyes and drew in a deep breath. Opening the door, I could have never predicted who was there.

"Curly?!" I had never been so happy to see that little menace. I was also a bit surprised at how much that little menace had grown.

"That's my name, don't wear it out!" Curly grinned.

"Oh Curly!" I even slung my arms around him. Maybe I should have listened to Nadine about the Vodka. Wine might have been a better choice. I might have not been so smashed.

"Really, don't wear it out..." he chuckled inanely. When I realize I was hugging a former maniac, I quickly pulled back. Taking his coat, I could see the relieved face of Nadine. She must have also been grateful that it wasn't Harold who waltzed through the door.

"Nice pad, Rhonda," Curly flashed a slightly psychotic smile. The crazy aspect of him had diminished greatly. Now, he was tall, dark, and handsome. A modernized 'Ben Affleck' with those puppy dog eyes that seemed to just suck me right in. It seemed like I had also altered that night.

Harold, my "supportive" husband still wasn't there, but I frankly didn't care. Speaking of "no-shows", Big Patty hadn't arrived either. Ever since Harold dumped her for me, she had been quite bitter about it. What did she expect? Rhonda Wellington Lloyd doesn't lie down for anybody. So what if it's tacky to talk in third person, this is _my _story and it's not over yet.

"Would you like a tour?" I resolved to be good-natured to Curly. Especially after our nasty break-up in Sophomore year. I don't know what I saw in the little rascal then, but he's changed. 

"I would love that," Curly smiled again except this time I almost melted. Wait a minute, what the hell was wrong with me, you ask? Well, I was a twenty four year old attractive woman hosting a party with out her husband. I call that insecure... Right? It sounds like good enough of an excuse for me. 

Nadine was watching from across the room and as you know, or should know, Nadine and I have been best friends ever since... forever I guess. She could read me like a book which is why she picked up on my insecurities. I was giving in completely to Curly as he started to put me under his spell.

I gave her the signal that she should- as casually as possible- keep a watch on us as I lead him around the house. I ascended the stairs thankful that the maid had vacuumed up there, the manor was immaculate. I showcased the paintings in the hallway along with other do-dads. I was about to present the balcony to Curly, but he abruptly stopped me. I couldn't begin to comprehend why he didn't want to see the balcony. Everyone loved going up there. He started to sweat and almost outright shake.

"Are you alright?" I inquired actually concerned for his well-being.

"Oh, I'm just really cold-- no hot. I'm wicked warm up here. Can we go back downstairs?" Curly seemed to be pleading with me but I didn't exactly follow his lead at the time.

"Um... how about we go out to the balcony and then you'll cool off then?" I suggested politely hoping he would consider.

"Actually, I'm really cold. I'm in some sort of... uh... _cold sweat_. Maybe I better go take a Tylenol or something, hehe... yeah? Okay good, let's go!" Curly grabbed my arm and commenced on leading me downstairs.

"Curly, I really want to go out on the balcony. I'm going with or without you!" I had to have my way. Maybe change would have been good.

"NO!" he insisted that I escort him downstairs so he can take a Tylenol. Bizarre? Yes. It didn't phase me that much since he had dragged me through such peculiar tasks before.

I tried to get him to relax as I rose to go get a Tylenol out of the medicine cabinet. I didn't understand what was so dreadful about my balcony. I used to always invite people up there. As I fumbled for the Tylenol, I convinced myself that Curly must have thought I was hitting on him or something... So-... so he was _uneasy_ because he had a girlfriend. That made perfect sense and seemed like a logical explanation for his irrational behavior. Then again, this _was_ Curly so it could've been anything.

Closing the medicine cabinet, I walked out with the water and the Tylenol and handed the items to a very unnerved Curly. Nadine appeared to be acting the same way. That was it, I had it. I needed to know what all the hubbub was about. Much to my appreciation, none of the other guests noticed the odd occurrences.

"What's going on here?" I sighed exasperated from all the excitement. This was too much and whatever Nadine and Curly were going to tell me; I didn't know if I was ready for it.

"It's nothing really... just sit down, Rhonda..." Nadine pleaded with me as if I was a child. I wouldn't listen and I refused. So maybe that is acting childish, but this was my party and I could cry if I wanted to.

"You tell me what's going on!" I practically shouted without causing any rouse amongst the group.

Curly tried to change the topic, "SO.... I heard you were a supermodel. I actually saw you on the uh... cover of Woman's Day'!" He giggled nervously hoping I didn't notice anything odd. Boy, he was wrong.

"That's it. I'm going upstairs _to the balcony _to find out just what the hell is going on here!" I exclaimed at my companions. Nadine tried to hold me back but I pushed her and Curly away. I dashed up the stairwell in my Stilettos towards my bedroom. Much to my surprise, the door was locked. Before I started cursing due to the inopportunity of the locked door, I heard commotion from inside.

It sounded like a burglar at first; like as if someone was smashing my sixty-thousand-dollar Chinese vase. Panicking, I acted like a moron trying to get the door open until Curly finally reached me. He pulled me to the ground much to my shock. The little creature had gained some strength since elementary school, I suppose. 

"Curly!" I gasped breathless, "... what... what are you doing?"

He didn't say anything. His eyes seemed to be locked on mine. The only sound that was heard was the racket from inside my bedroom. I couldn't help but just shut that out for these short moments. I felt his deep breathing on my lips. 

"I- I don't know... I can't let you go in there... Rhonda. I just can't ever hurt you..." Tears formed in his eyes as they did in mine. As we heard the sound of Nadine rushing up the stairs, Curly let me go. 

I sat there, motionless. I could have predicted what happened next; but my prediction would have been wrong. I got myself up and much to Curly and Nadine's dismay, I kicked the doors open to receive the bombshell of my life. Things as I had known them were about to change.

"Oh my god..." was all I heard from Nadine. Curly remained speechless as I began to break down.

"Harold!!! How could you do this to me!!" I fell to the floor in complete agony. Curly attempted to help me back up, but backed off and just tried to keep me comfortable.

"Rhonda... what are you doing here?" Harold mumbled moronically like the ass that he is. I was barely conscious at that point. All I really remember is me shouting obscenities at Harold and Bitch Patty who he was with. 

The rest of the details are such a blur. I remember hiring a lawyer and suing Harold's fat ass off for adultery. Cheating, hah. I still deem cheating as an insult to the sacrament of marriage. But, hey, that's just _my_ opinion.

My Cover Girl Christmas wasn't exactly the best that year... Well, I shouldn't say that. I lost something that I used to love and I gained something beautiful. Harold hurt me. 

Maybe my new life isn't what would be defined as "perfect" by most people. All I know is that I'm the happiest I've ever been and this new life is "perfect" in my eyes. I've changed. My new husband tells me I'm special. That I didn't deserve Harold. That I don't even deserve him- which _I_ believe is absurd. He always tells me that I'm in a league of my own.

He tells me he loves me every night before we go to sleep. Every time we are separated; whether it be by telephone or in person- he will always tell me how much he loves me before he goes away. He picked a job close to home so he won't be separated from me and the kids: Jamie, Sarah and Scott. I still model part time and I'm thrilled.

You've heard of the house with the white picket fence that you dream about when you're younger? It is finally ours. I love my husband. I love my children. I'm finally happy. Truly happy. 

Oh, my cell phone is ringing... hold on a second...

"Hello?"

"Hey honey..."

"I miss you, Curly..."

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"I miss you too, Rhonda. I love you..."

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Read and Review! This is my Holiday gift to you all and myself. I loved writing this so much and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I loved writing it. :) Happy Holidays!


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